Hmmm...where do i start? where have i been? life? the whole rap scene? maturity? love? beef? meat? skool?

fuck. where do i start?

aight aight.

1stly, its first day of skool & its my birthday. how great! hahaha.. well its aight. my birthday is everyday & everyday is my birthday. so nothin' special. just gettin' old everyday. and shorter life span. make sense? i'm not mentionin any goals here fo year 3 but i have some. thing is, when i put it down. i aint gon do it. hahaha.. so i'll keep it to myself. got to know i'll be in skool fo an extra half year fo failin' one module. aint that a bitch? oh well.

from my 18th birthday till i'm 19 today, my life's been plungin' like a cleavage. word. still i'm thankful to God fo givin' life. still givin' me opportunity to breathe. fo that.. Alhamdulillah. no matter how hard life is, i trust God fo the better. if not, i do realize there is blessin' behind every hardship. thank God i'm 19. sometimes, i just wanna give up life but i do realize there'll be better dayz like Pac. I've asked, more of a complain, mom why some people have better luck & better life than i am. She said there's hikmah or blessin' in disguise.
And i believe there is. Thanks Mom. I love you.
Y'all know sum'n? Mom is hustlin' at my brother's skool just to get me a new laptop. How much i wanted to cry just hearin' that. I could cry rite this moment thinkin' of it. Fo all the bullshit i've shown as a son, she did this fo me. wtf am i thinkin? daymnn.. Fuck you Fiky Prayudi. where's your heart at? urgh! I only wish i could repay wit everythin. how could i when i myself have nothin? God. tears down. daymnn.. I love you Mom. thank you! thank you God fo makin' me someone like Mom. *breathe in breathe out*

aight movin' on.
fo all this bullshit, i've matured so much. i spot these 2 faces at once when they talk. i'm lovin' that skill. but i aint tellin em. i know myself. they know they fakin'. so fuck y'all 2 faced mofoz! wit mo maturity, i suppose ego's part of the concoction. agree? find out. and you know sum'n, if y'aint like my shit you can suck my dick. i know that's harsh but you aint half my skill. 2yrs since started hip-hop & i'm better than you. so don't judge me fool. you aint shit. if anyone feels the pinch, trust me its fo you. fuck up bitches! y'aint even got mo recognition than i am. i know real props when i hear one. i dun think you even got one. hah!

my rap shit..
i know can do alot better so i know where the fuck to get my help from. i'm thinkin of goin solo. yeah i said it. oh hell i thought alot bout it. Da ShoCase 3 muz be my last straw. i drank too much stress. FUCK THE SCENE! just coz i aint look good i aint got skillz? fuck. this is fo Jam & Hop crowd on the 13th Apr. but i do appreciate cats who came up to me wit their compliments. all in all, i hate the scene. lemme quote myself, 'this game's been a plain scene..' yeahh that's my line. how the fuck do i change that when some cats aint sharpenin their skills. all they want is fans. know what? i don't give a fuck bout fans. let alone groupies. i want REAL recognition. REAL advise. And a chance to be heard. was talkin' to Mr. Psylence, i told him i give a fuck bout 2 or 3 who's feelin' me but fuck a 4000 people crowd who's watchin me perform. daymnnn.. feels so nice to release my anger here. i miss the blog.

nexxttt..
love life? hahaha.. lemme be honest. i'm still not over HER. yes. if you know who than good. if not fuck you. hahah.. but i'm fillin' my time. so that i aint get too emo. i bumped into her pict in one of my friendster's contacts. that contact is her friend actually. honestly, i missed her alot. y'all know whut birthday present i'd really want? to bump into her somewhere.. or at least hear her voice on the phone. i miss that. sometimes it gets into the mind, i kept thinkin' i see her when its another girl. shittt. call me crazy people. but a crazy saint aint sayin' he's crazy. agreeable? good. giler ah Fiky. i just hope she reads this. one sad thing, she aint even text me on my b'day today. i was hopin' she gon' be the first. but nah.. she aint givin' a fuck who Fiky is. who Ca$heEzy was.
SINNAHOY ADLIME... you're still in my system. don't blame me fo it. its hard. you showered me wit so much & you're gone like you hate me. urghhh daymmnnn. that hair.. that smile.. n your lil pecks.. and i love your current hair. your current friendster picture that is. sabar Fiky. and that is why i stay my ass single. yepp. to some its stupid, to me is not. everyone's definition of real is different. i've been real enuff fo it.

i'm done fo now. released so much tension in herre. thankew blogggy! hahaha.. that makes me hungry. gotta have my lunch now!

I'm outttt bitchesssss!!!


'every presentation is a showcase of my lyricism..'